Thomas: there’s going to be a lot of old church ladies there. that’s why i’m going to wear this aggressively gay hat!
Patton: (grave, extremely serious) will you make a promise to me? (beat) if you ever… EVER… need a dogsitter…. you call me. YOU CALL ME.
Virgil: (in math class) my absolute value is ALSO zero
Roman: (after telling a bunch of light-hearted jokes) why was the doctor fired??? (beat) because someone died on his operating table and it was his fault
Thomas: oh my GOD guys did you know that you can sing the pledge of allegiance to the tune of old mcdonald!! look, look- (singing loudly and over the teacher) I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, E-I-E-I-O
Roman: shut up, i’m better than you
Logan: yes…i do… have… Much Swag… that’s me… the swaggiest… (whispers to person next to them) what is swag
Patton: should i name my cat lawnmower, or nah?
Virgil: (in response to ‘is the slope negative?’) “i think all slopes are negative. lots of people die on mountains.” “that’s a cold-hearted joke, dude.” “you think that joke was cold-hearted? you should see those mountain corpses.”
Logan: (when someone got one more point than them on a test) i will destroy you.
the sides as things i’ve overheard in school
Published
Think Things 