biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

hi-def-doritos:

braaains-archive:

SO AWESOME

-baby dragons

-baby dragons that will try to bite lighters and cigarettes and any other form of flame including gas stovetops because a baby dragon biting flame is like a baby human chewing on a teething toy they just gotta do it

-baby dragons that will also try to bite lightbulbs, including holiday lights and phone screens, because they haven’t figured out yet that these are not Real Fire

-baby dragons who love to just sit on the stovetop after the pots are removed and bask in the warmth

-baby dragons who start up a little hoard of small household items that are metallic and/or shiny, like paperclips and keys, because they’ve yet to be exposed to gold and jewels

-baby dragons who beg at the dinner table

-baby dragons who’ve figured out how to fly but not quite how to stop yet so they kinda just crash into something that’s hopefully soft to stop themselves

-adolescent dragons being introduced to jewelry for the first time and having to be told “no” unto they give up on stealing the items. For now….

-stashes of silverware and change and rhinestones being found back in the cupboards

-adolescent dragons who love music and can hum along

-adolescent dragons getting used to their leashes and going on walks

-adolescent dragons who learn to ride on your shoulder and at first you have to keep them tied to you so they don’t fly off when you go outside but pretty soon they learn and they love you enough to stay with you

-adolescent dragons going through crazy mood swings and being distant and aloof but eventually coming back for snuggles like always

-young dragons who start trying to preen your hair (it never goes very well but they try, okay? And you love them.)

-young dragons with tons of energy setting about doing everything possible to make their humans happy

-they can operate almost any lamp or lightswitch for you, and they’ll try to open your cupboards when you’re cooking and they’ll press elevator buttons and unzip your backpack/purse/briefcase and untie your shoes and fetch the paper and do just about any small task they can do to make you happy

-young dragons who think their scolding is what opens automatic doors for their owners

-young dragons who are incredibly, zealously eager to please, even though they don’t really know what they’re doing

-middle-aged dragons who start to lose some of the energy but are now incredibly loyal and know you and your habits to a fault

-middle-aged dragons who start taking naps on the window ledges and fall off a few times but they get the hang of it

-middle-aged dragons who stay on your shoulder almost all the time now, wrapping their tail around your other shoulder for balance

-middle-aged dragons that will affectionately rub their heads along your neck and cheek and jawline

-old dragons who just lay around and nap happily all the time

-seriously they’re like cats and sunbeams

-old dragons who sit in your lap and eat off your plate at dinner because they’ve darn well earned the privilege and everybody else knows it

-old dragons who are terrible influences and start showing the younger dragons how to hoard and steal shiny things

-old dragons that curl up under your chin and lie on your chest and bask in your presence

-service dragons who help disabled people go about their lives

-pet dragons who are basically therapy animals

-pet dragons that are incredibly loving and demonstrative of that love

-pet dragons who are loyal and who bond closely and work with and love their humans

-pet dragons who are the sweetest things in the universe

-pet dragons

WHAT THEY FUCKIN SAID