mothdogs:

vampireapologist:

being a cashier is so stressful i’ll be like “hi! how are you :^)” and the customer will hand me a screwdriver and say “my granddaughter had a miscarriage this morning” and I’m like …………………..i’m so sorry that’s $2.33

Deadass I once told a customer “Have a nice day!” and he responded that he couldn’t because it was the anniversary of his wife’s murder

moshgoblin:

hobgoblinhero:

moshgoblin:

moshgoblin:

wanna be Tumblr famous but don’t want to put in the effort to make good posts so I peddle my mediocre wares at the side of the road

I stand at the side of a muddy road with my peasant garb, hollering “posts? funny posts, sir? a good chuckle for your madame?”

sir slimetony rolls by in his gleaming armor and calls me a peon and a cuck before having his big horse stamp my market stall into the ground

Better than me, all i do is add unnecessary comments to other users with goblin in their name

you’re the only valid person on this fucking website

gaysonic:

lookskindadeadinside:

kanto-jhoto:

heyitspj:

how does golbat close its mouth?????

Blink and you’ll miss it, because it covers it’s face with it’s wings, but Golbat closes it’s mouth in pokemon stadium.  

It’s like the top right, except it has an underbite, not an overbite.

“mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”

werewolfbehavior:

when ur mentally ill and having An Episode™

but u dont want anyone to know

lieutenant-sapphic:

americachavez:

thor and gamora in their weekly “villainous blue adopted sibling” support group

thor: loki keeps stabbing me 😦

gamora: so stab him back???? what’s the big deal that’s his way of saying hello

loki and nebula in their weekly “heroic older sibling who’s part of a superhero squad and gets all the attention” support group

loki: thor never stabs me back when i stab him 😦

nebula: so stab him harder????