pinkadillydoo:

spicy-bread4189615347326910:

owlmylove:

crocsuckersanonymous:

owlmylove:

it’s officially impossible for me to fall in love bc last night at a party drunk-me remembered that sober-me had thrown 3 funsize kitkats into my bag with the explicit thought “drunk-me is going to be so excited when she finds these” and i don’t think any other person is gonna be able to love me like that

but what did drunk you ever do for sober you

one time i blacked out and woke up to find 13 full sized rolls of ritz crackers in my bag bc drunk me is also an ideal provider

fishyfellow:

snorlaxatives:

the-little-engine-that-couldnt:

snorlaxatives:

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

This really cheered me up

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

smolstiel:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

aro-ace-fangirl:

pwapboi:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

so in horror movies where flat tires stop people from running away…you can still drive with flat tires. it damages the tires and the wheels, and it’s not safe at high speeds, but you can still drive away from a raving serial killer. pro tip next time a knife wielding lunatic comes at you get in the car, you’ll be fine

well this would have been useful last night

See this is where people make the mistake. If the knife maniac is running straight at your car, SLAM it into reverse. You probably won’t kill them but you might cause some damage. Then drive. They’ll be stopped and you can get away, and maybe they’ll even be at the same spot to call the cops (and maybe the ambulance) on

what a top notch addition to an already excellent post

are we going to ignore the guy who apparently had an encounter with a serial killer last night

they lived to post about it, it’s fine

the-psycho-in-the-window:

Levi: What’s the signal if something goes wrong?

Erwin: What about “OH, F*CK!”

Levi: Yeah that works

*Bonus*

Hange: What are you guys talking about

Hange: This is the Survey Corps

Hange: Something WILL go wrong

thelighthousewatcher:

emphoenixcat:

whats-going-on-kiddos:

katatles-the-fish:

warnadudenexttime:

royallyanxious:

vividaway:

things that you’ll never see the same once joining this fandom

puns

the saying “who’s she? never heard of her”

anxiety

warby parker

guys and dolls

cats

puppies

parks and rec

hoodies

zippers

black eyeshadow

cardigans

blue ties

disney

cartoons

purple hair

freckles

crofters

or any jam in general, tbh.

feel free to add on

yourself

Broken blue crayons

YELLOW GLOVES

Infinitesimal

raisin oatmeal cookies

e=mc squared

bowler hats

starbucks

sunglasses

pink ties

diadems

Princes

Falsehood

12 days of Christmas

Bubbas bubblegum(?) shrimp

thelighthousewatcher:

emphoenixcat:

whats-going-on-kiddos:

katatles-the-fish:

warnadudenexttime:

royallyanxious:

vividaway:

things that you’ll never see the same once joining this fandom

puns

the saying “who’s she? never heard of her”

anxiety

warby parker

guys and dolls

cats

puppies

parks and rec

hoodies

zippers

black eyeshadow

cardigans

blue ties

disney

cartoons

purple hair

freckles

crofters

or any jam in general, tbh.

feel free to add on

yourself

Broken blue crayons

YELLOW GLOVES

Infinitesimal

raisin oatmeal cookies

e=mc squared

bowler hats

starbucks

sunglasses

pink ties

diadems

Princes

Falsehood

12 days of Christmas

Bubbas bubblegum(?) shrimp