kingofattolia:

12+ hours: hell yes. decadence has a name and it is ME. the dream. im marrying  my bed you’re invited to the wedding. i might feel groggy and angry for the rest of the day when i actually do get up but WORTH IT. 

12+ hours (ALTERNATE): i am deeply clinically depressed and approximately three (3) inches from death at any given moment

11-10 hours: ideal. im functioning at perfect 100% capacity my body and mind are a well oiled machine. im ready to knock out all my errands and chores in under an hour, work a full day and then study that language im trying to learn

9 hours: good! i could have slept longer, but getting up was no great horrifying trauma either

8-7 hours: the “””””medically recommended amount””””” for adults, but in reality more like a “fine, i GUESS” amount. normal mild levels of angst at having to get out of bed

6 hours: silent unceasing internal groaning for at least the first hour after waking. dont expect any kind of quality conversation for the first 2 or so hours. ive got a Less Than Medically Recommended Amount Of Sleep, that means im a martyr right???

5 hours: pretty unpleasant. feels gross. expect a moderate crash during the late afternoon. this is the first number that is considered worthy of entry in a college student sleep-measuring contest. altho if you try to enter with 5 hrs dead-eyed hordes will instantly materialize from the bushes and one-up you “5 hours??? HAHA SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 YEARS”

4 hours: a Very Poor Decision. deep seated, incoherent rage upon waking that persists up to several hours. consume large amounts of your stimulant of choice, but you’ll still feel like a cave troll. constant aftertaste of chemicals and regret

3 hours: half awake half walking in some astral plane haunted by the wails of the newly-dead. children and animals fear the emptiness in your vacant eyes. a very respectable entry to any sleep-measuring contest. you’ll still get beaten by the “2 hour” and “all nighter” people, but everyone knows this is Bad

2 hours: you can get up, but only by rending your soul from your physical body in a paroxysm of agony, since it will refuse to leave the bed. you are now soulless and will feel absolutely zero emotion until sometime in the late afternoon/early evening when your soul returns and ALL the emotions will hit at once, leaving you alternately sobbing or creepily hyena laughing

1 hour: you fool. you imbecile. your hubris and weakness has brought you to this point. they are coming. you cannot escape. why didnt you just stay awake. why didnt you just pull the all-nighter. the strength of your no-sleep headache threatens to stab through your skull like an ice pick. all you can taste is blood. they are comi

0 hours: THIS ACTUALLY ISNT AS BAD. HAHA I’M NOT EVEN THAT TIRED! WATCH ME DOWN 15 MOUNTAIN DEWS IN 15 MINUTES. I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING IN MY EARS ISNT THAT WEIRD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EYES ARE BLOODSHOT AND I CANT FOCUS, IM COMPLETELY NORMAL RIGHT NOW. GUYS I CAN HEAR COLORS.

ssironstrange:

fangirlsaywhaat:

monker4444:

jaded-space:

polyturtles:

artactually:

Like, this is Loki

And this is Tom. They have different colored hair.

This is Castiel

And this is Misha. They wear different clothes.

This is Tony Stark

And this is Robert Downey Jr. They have different names.

Simple

Actually, don’t forget that Tony Stark is about half a foot taller. RDJ is a tiny tiny man and it’s hilarious.

This is Tony Stark

And this is Robert Downey Jr.

never clicked the reblog button as fast as this.

Probably already reblogged this, but it’s so dam funny.

i had to spit out my cereal to laugh at this

quinintheclouds:

yt-memes:

alldogsarebetterthanpeople:

yt-memes:

tinysidestrashcaptain:

sanders-trash-4ever:

broadwaytheanimatedseries:

romanasanders:

royallyanxious:

broadwaytheanimatedseries:

milomeepit:

schmergo:

if 23 Roman stabs 

It took me several seconds to realise this was about the Ides of March.

I was sitting here trying to figure out who Roman Sanders stabbed 23 times.

Congratulations, Thomas. You overrode my History Nerd Mode.

No its about roman he stabbed deceit

with his samurai sword

23 times

And then he ran into my samurai sword

He ran into my samurai sword

23 TIMES!

@fluidityandgiggles

*virgil pops up from nowhere*

HE HAD IT COMING

Bless this whole post

This post is a disaster

Patton: Roman! There is a dead snake (Deciet) in our house!

Roman: oh, hey! How did he get here?

Patton: Roman what did you do?

Roman: what, this? I didn’t do this!

Patton: explained what happened, Roman!

Roman: I don’t kill people. That is- that is my least favorite thing to do!

Patton: tell me what happened before I got home.

Roman: okay, so I was sitting in my room, reading a book, and well, this guy walked in. So I went up to him… And I uh, I stabbed twenty three times in the chest with my sword.

Patton: rooooommmaaaannn that kills people!

Roman: oh- oh gosh! I didn’t know that

Patton: how could you not know that?!

Roman: Yea I’m in the wrong here.i suck.

OMG YOU MADE A LLAMAS WITH HATS VERSION!!!?? I LOVE YOU!!!

THIS POST IS MUTATING 

inali:

bitcherovas:

daloy-politsey:

exhighfunctioning:

daloy-politsey:

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Why isn’t it taught that abortion was perfectly legal in the US in early 1870s and it wasn’t until a Jewish doctor, who was being framed, was put on trial for manslaughter (a trial, as well as the press covering it, which was greatly tinged with antisemitism) that opened the floodgates for antiabortion crusaders which eventually led to its criminalization?

I did not know this!

Me neither, until I read this book.

Look at the notes for the name of the book if anyone else is interested.

The book is called Bad Rabbi: And Other Strange but True Stories from the Yiddish Press. By Eddy Portnoy

Other recommended books in the notes that talk about this are:

The Moral Property of Sex by Linda Gordon

Rereading Sex by Helen Horowitz

mad-magyar:

This is the dancing slav of luck.

Reblog and all your dreams will come true.

iamvegorott:

allimeraine:

blizzy-bun:

virge-of-death:

sassy-in-glasses:

nerdqueenkat:

galacticmercy:

fallskima:

doubtingsalmon:

ramblingpolkadots:

an-antique-evil:

battywitch:

elenajohansen:

morriganwrites-0124:

pen-and-sword-writing:

brooklynbookgirl:

runwithskizzers:

beerburritowhiskey:

coopersgirl68:

reelaroundthedavekan:

geekgirlsmash:

rpgwizzard:

kissthulhu:

laetchifae:

demonweasel:

areyoufromanotherplanet:

saranoiamaxx:

drthskyguy:

commander-shakarian:

my-hart-will-go-on:

hissrakatari:

fun-sized-owl:

eldinkind:

too-much-stuff–not-enough-space:

guy-with-the-hat:

slbtumblng:

grimestone:

uki-malkin:

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