Author: Time Lizzy Saint

Greetings! The name is Time Lizzy, or Time as my friends call me. They/Them pronouns. I love to try new things, draw, sing, dance, garden, and I do some witchcraft in my free time. I'm a Hetalia role playing partner if you guys are interested.

Operator: 911. What is the nature of your emergency?
MC: MY COMPUTER IS ATTEMPTING TO MURDER ME BECAUSE I TOLD MONIKA THAT I PREFERRED NATSUKI OVER HER.
Operator: I see… *begins dialling up the owners of the nearest psych ward to take MC away*

*Monika’s phone rings, the Doki Doki Literature Club theme is the ring tone.*
Monika: Hang on, I got to take this. Yello.
MC: What did you do?
Monika: Alright. But you can’t be mad at me.
MC: What did you do?
Monika: Okay, first. I was minding my own business.
MC: Bullshit!
Monika: *Whines* But I was!
MC: And what exactly happened while you were ‘minding your own business.’
Monika: So I was just chillaxing in my room like a baller, and all the sudden some smucks kick in my door!
*Natsuki, Yuri and Sayori run into Monika’s Hotel Room*
Monika: And one of them yelled out-
Yuri: Get on your knees!
Monika: And I responded with-
Flashback Monika: I’m not your mother last night!
Monika: And they took exception to that.
*Monika gets shot by the three other girls and Monika plays dead for a bit*
Monika: But you know how that song and dance goes.
*Cartoon violence ensues, Monika kills then deletes Yuri and Natsuki*
Monika: And I killed all but one of them.
MC: What happened to the last one?
*Sayori hangs herself*
Monika: Pussed out like a bitch! Silver lining, I can cancel my room service!
MC: *Sighs* Hedgehog, be honest with me. What are we looking at in terms of collateral?
Hedgehog: Well…The Monika amount.