I’ve had a woman tell me that I was fat and worthless.
I’ve had a woman trying to convince me into sleeping with a man 10 years older than me as a minor and constantly left me alone with him even though I begged and pleaded her not to.
I’ve had her take my inhaler and refuse to give it back.
I’ve had her take my inhaler and refuse to give it back even when I was having an asthma attack.
I’ve also had her say that I was faking when I was having an asthma attack.
I’ve had her pinch me until my skin bled or bruised, choke and twist my arm and wrist into painful and uncomfortable positions until I gave into her or as a “punishment”.
I’ve been screamed at and treated cruelly by her.
I’ve had her give me the cold shoulder and convince all of my other friends to do the same without even giving me a reason why.
I’ve had her tell me because I like BDSM, I should enjoy when she chokes, hits and pinches or otherwise causes pain to me even when I’ve asked her to stop.
I’ve had her take money and food from me and say that I don’t need it despite the fact that I wouldn’t have eaten for days… because she took my food and money on those days.
I’ve had her accuse me of being attention seaking for telling my friends I was in the hospital as a result of being sick.
She degraded and demeaned me.
She intentionally excluded me from activities with our mutual friends.
She called me a “child” and that I shoudl stay “in a child’s place” as a way of patronizing and keeping me from interacting with our mutual friends.
She’s taken and gone through my phone.
She also caused my long distance boyfriend at the time to break up with me by getting his number from my phone and interrogating him.
She also got one of our mutual friends to join in on interrogating my LD boyfriend at the time by lying to them and saying I was talking to a predator/stranger and was in danger because she didn’t know who they were.
She chewed me out over having a LD boyfriend and crying because he broke up with me.
She also said that she was doing me a favor by cutting me off from him and violating my privacy.
She’s taken my phone for days at a time.
She’s made fun of my self harm scars.
She’s picked at the scabs from my self harm scars and caused them to bleed.
She’s threatened to cut me herself.
She’s isolated me from other friends of mine and some of our mutual friends.
She attempted to drag me down a path of isolating and self-destruction.
She’s kissed and groped me without my consent while also shaming me for being bisexual and claiming that I must not “really” be bisexual if I didn’t kiss or grop her back… but when I would try to she’d say no or for me to stop and I’d back off and the cycle would start again.
I’ve skipped and ran out of classes trying to find her because she told me that she was going to kill herself or do something harmful like drinking 2 – 4 liters of alcohol or cutting herself if I couldn’t find her.
Got chewed out by her for having to go home for the day after throwing up and basically having been worked into a panic and asthma attack… because of her doing something of the above.
She discouraged me from making any friendships (or getting closer to any of our mutual friends) without her approval. If I did something without her approval I’d basically get punished by her both physically/emotionally and her driving a wedge between whoever my friend is or driving the wedge between me and a mutual friend so we aren’t as close anymore or they stop talking to me.
Made me take pills and/or medication and withholding what it was for or the effects. (Thank fuck it wasn’t something serious like opoids or addiction causing)
Controlled how much and when I ate. She also would withhold food from me and/or my money for food (or any sort of money I had really) as a punishment and she also would confiscate food I bought without her permission if she wanted it.
Guilted me into spending money to buy food and snacks for her and then chewing me out when I expected the same or asked her to do the same for me… even though she bought snacks for all of our other mutual friends.
When I’d have emotional breakdowns and start crying because of how she was treating me she would tell our mutual friends to leave me alone and that I just seeking attention and I didn’t need anyone to comfort me.
When I would go off on my own because that was the only way for me to calm down and comfort myself in relative peace I would get chewed out for “worrying” her” even though she was the one that caused me to leave in the first place.
Blamed me for two of our mutual friends being in a relationship. (she didn’t want them in a relationship with each other and didn’t take well when she found out)
Blamed me for when I indirectly told one of our mutual friends that his girlfriend was cheating on him with his cousin whom was also a mutual friend of ours and blamed me for when he stormed off to go confront them.
She dragged me around for about two miles in the cold, without a jacket and as it was getting cold despite the fact that i was beginning to have an asthma attack while trying to find them. Thankfully our mutual friend that stormed off found me and carried me back because she definately wasn’t going to call an ambulance or help.
She was the biggest contributing factor in me devoping an eating disorder where I don’t eat as a “punishment” for doing something wrong.
If she was a man, it would be acceptable for me to say to never trust any man and that all men will hurt you and that you should avoid them. It would be acceptable to say if 1 in 5 skittles are poisoned would you still eat them? It would be acceptable for me to talk about my abuse and have people agree and comfort me. It would be acceptable for me to say that I hate men. It would be acceptable for me to say that I don’t trust men. It would be acceptable for me to say that I feel uncomfortable around men. It would be acceptable for me to say that all men are like this. It would be acceptable for me to say that I was abused and manipulated.
But because my abuser is a woman the only thing that is acceptable for me to be is silent.
Because pointing out that there are women in in domestic abuse relationships with other women means that I “hate lesbians”.
Pointing out that women can be abusive, manipulative and demeaning means that I “hate women”.
Pointing out that women are just as viable as men when it comes to the one in five, 10, skittle, cake or whatever example is “mysogyny” and false.
My abuse matters less because victims of man on female abuse matter more.
It’s acceptable to brush off victims of female abusers. It’s acceptable to ignore them. It’s acceptable to give them a backhanded sense of validity when it comes to their abuse by saying basically saying “Your abuse is valid but you’re a minority among abuse victims soooo just don’t say anything about it or point out that women can be as abusive as men you mysoginst.” or hell, to even say that it must have been the victim’s fault because all the women they know are perfect angels that share handcream and support each other :))
It’s acceptable to ignore victims of female abusers in favor of saying that most abuse is commited by men and considered mysogynist or lesbophobic to point out that women that have been abused by or are in abusive relationships with women.
Wow the irony.
Loli I’m sorry this all has happened to you, if you ever wanna talk about it please, feel free to tell me.
I’m good. I’m glad I don’t hang around her anymore lol.
I mostly needed to get this off my chest because my notifications are full of radfems calling other people lesbophobes and misogynists.
@rainbowloliofjustice I’m sorry those awful things happened and you’re not alone. I’m a victim of female/female rape and I’ve had people in real life and on Hellsite tell me to shut up about it or victim blame me because a woman did it to me. I was also told “you’re a minority and don’t count” as well. If my rapist was a guy everyone would come to my rescue however.
Female on female abuse is real and people need to acknowledge it.
I’m sorry these things happened to you, hon–if there’s anything I can do, anything at all to help, let me know.
