today i learned nipples grow back and now have to figure out what to do with this information
cuz if i needed to learn it everyone else has to too
I know nipples grow back because once when i was in middle school in my art class a bunch of dudesat my table who were always fucking around instead of doing their work heard a rumor that if you spray AXE directly onto your nipple for exactly sixty seconds, and flicked it, your nipple will come off. So the moment the teacher left the room to go to the bathroom or something, they whip out a can and one brave soul among their number begins to spray himself, while the others chanted ritualistically. At 60 seconds, they watched, giggling, as the young man put his hand up to his breast and flicked. to their horror, the nipple did come off and, at ballistic speeds, soared across the table and hit me right in the cheek. And stuck. So everyone who was aware of this spectacle is sitting there in stunned silence, all while blood gushed from the nipple hole of the young man. I am so stunned that I am literally incapable of moving, having astral-projected so far away from this disembodied nipple that i may as well have been a dead man. The teacher returns and his shirt comes down, in an attempt to hide the tomfoolery, but yall know AXE Body Spray knows nothing of mercy, and almost immediately she was alerted to the scent of defeat and the sight of blood seeping through the young mans shirt. She didnt ask for an explaination, simply advised him to take the pass and go to the nurse. As he stands to go, his fellow comerade, remembering me suddenly, reaches over and plucks the bodiless nipple from my cheek, like a grape from the vine, and runs up to his friend with the words “dont forget your nipple”. It was a moving experience that honestly changed my life forever. I’m a new man after that day.
This is by far the best addition to any post I have ever made.
You can really tell who’s never experienced poverty and food insecurity when it comes to discussions around food costs and how unhealthy food is cheaper. Some fucker always comes in with the price of like… lettuce or… apples. And it’s like yeah bitch but can you work an 11 hour shift after eating some salad and an apple!?! Find me something cheaper, and more filling than the broke ass staples of boxed mac and cheese, hot dogs, noodles, bread, beans, and rice. I’ll wait.
It also ignores the mental toll that poverty takes like maybe your home made veggie filled recipe isn’t crazy expensive but it also involves prep time and cooking time and organization in terms of fresh food that a lotta poor people can’t manage.
Not to mention if you can only afford to get to the store once every couple weeks via bus or cab then you can’t keep fresh veg on deck.
Growing up, I was told from many sources (books, tv, parents, teachers, inspirational quotes) that you should never half ass anything. That in everything you do, you should give your all. Honestly, that’s a recipe for misery and burnout. You need to half ass most things so you have enough ass left to give your whole ass to the things you care about. Or at least I do.
Executive function is absolutely a thing. But there’s a lot of things that are Done Better if you do them carefully, and doing them badly ends up being a spoon drain. The trick is learning to figure out which ones…
also asking yourself occasionally, “does this deserve my whole ass?” because quite often the task deserves about 28% of the left cheek
I had a friend from Queens who used to say, “We ain’t building a piano!” about tasks like that.
Also, the idea that you should never half-ass anything leads to a whole “all or nothing” attitude, that can be very detrimental. Yeah, okay, if you’re building a bridge hundreds of people cross every day, don’t half-ass it. But if your options are turning in a half-assed paper for partial credit or zero-assing it and handing in nothing for no credit? HALF-ASS AWAY.
Think Things 