hellenhighwater:

saltofficial:

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

courtneylovedcobain:

why are dog lovers so hateful??? like you meet a cat lover and they’re like “oh i love dogs a lot too! i just prefer cats!” but dog lovers are always like “my ENTIRE FAMILY was MURDERED by a CAT, a cat STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN, TOOK MY JOB AND KEYED UP MY CAR"

crimjims:

delta-alpha:

dintix:

And then Satan said… “Put the alphabet in math”.

Not again, Satan

And then humanity put the greek alphabet in math too.

And even Satan raised an eyebrow and left to study art.

teacupfulofstarshine:

sandersstudies:

cruria:

sandersstudies:

poshtearex:

So I looked up funny wedding photos and I was not disappointed.

Like

These are all so wholesome and make for great draw the otp/draw the squad things for when you want to draw characters getting married but also be total dorks.

Can someone please draw the Sanders Sides squad as the high fiving one and tag me? I would owe you my life.

This is exactly what I imagined! Thank you so much, it’s so cute 😀

fucking VALID 

teaforascripturient:

madi-zaphara:

daeneryaastargaryen:

strawberryshortcakekitten:

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

____________________________________________________________

Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

____________________________________________________________

Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so…how was narnia?

____________________________________________________________

Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

This is so sweet actually

@zaiyo

YOU LIMP LETTUCE