Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were at my house party and all they did was stand in the corner and blink in sync with each other. At one point I saw Mary-Kate put a cigarette to her mouth and take a long drag, then Ashley blew out the smoke.
Wtf kind of fanfiction is this shit
I’m not a fan of anything and I don’t write fiction. Move along.
i’m not a fan of anything and i don’t write fiction move along
^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
The Grim Reaper is no longer able to claim lives directly. Instead, when your time is up a mark appears on your body and it is the duty of every other person to kill you on sight.
I am not a careless person. I cover my tracks, monitor what I say, look before I cross the street. At least, I do now.
When I was 20 years old, I walked home reading a book. I was so engrossed that I failed to notice the heavy metal vehicle moving at my frail, human body at 40 mph.
It swerved, I stopped, no one was hurt, no one died. They never do.
It was only when I took the cookies out of the oven that I noticed the mark on my arm. I knew what it meant. It was my duty to report to the authorities to be murdered. If I didn’t, anyone who saw it would kill me on sight.
I didn’t want to die. I was only twenty years old! I hadn’t even finished college, much less gotten to all my grand plans and ambitions (never mind that I didn’t have any. I had time to plan out the rest of my life later. So I thought.)
I burned my arm on the cookie sheet. The scar covered the black mark somewhat, and I put a bandaid over it. The people at work didn’t question it.
After some time, the burn healed. The mark remained black over the scar, bigger now. I tried carving it out with a knife. It was winter now, and long sleeves were the norm – no one would notice my injury. The mark remained, the bloody lower layers of my skin black as death’s robes.
From then on I wore long sleeves. When I went to the doctor I covered it with paint and hoped they wouldn’t notice. They didn’t. I was lucky.
The mark grew.
I was in trouble when it reached my wrist. As soon as it covered my hand I would be discovered. I ran.
Soon I will be nothing but a shadow in the night. Perhaps some of the stories they tell of night creatures originate from people like me. Those who escaped, their marks covering them, even the whites of their eyes turned deepest black. In a way, we are no longer human. Isolated, undying, immortal, betrayers of nature’s most fundamental law: all things must come to an end.
If I outlive humanity, will I ever die?
When the sun goes nova, will I still exist?
When the universe ends, will I endure?
Or is death simply a shortcut to that end? When the last star has gone out and matter has been erased, will Death greet me with a weary sigh, saying “where have you been? We’ve been waiting for you for an eternity.”
At that point, will I even remember who is waiting for me?
i have a vegan friend whose favourite food is garlic bread and i don’t have the heart to tell her there’s butter in garlic butter
Oh no…
oh no
Oh no
i mean, im not sure if this was just kidding around or not, but some people ive met really dont know there are vegan versions of literally anything, from salami to ice cream to chicken noodle soup cups to bacon to shredded cheese to fish fillets to garlic bread (made w margarine instead of butter)—and im not talking about the kind of stuff thats overtly marketed as being made from lumps of flax and dew either—so thats really cool ^^ just in case any of ya didnt know, sorry if im being “that vegan”
Right so this lady was smart, if you’re ever in a sedan-style trunk there’s a little pull tab that you can use to get yourself out that is STANDARD in cars built after 2001. It’s the law just like headlights and seatbelts.
if you are in an SUV style vehicle or newer model car you may be able to find the automatic trunk release wire, pull on it, it will pop the trunk
if you can’t find any of that stuff,look for the brake light housing. You will need to pull back the trunk carpeting and feel about. It’s probably bolted in, but some careful wiggling will dislodge it. If people see a goddamn arm waving out of a hole in a car while they poke along I-95 they likely will do something about it
Reblog to save a life….
I was about to explain that handle myself. I did in the past and was told I have a sick since of humor for saying it helps to serve as an escape method in kidnappings.
Some of them even glow in the dark for easier finding.
I’m sorry if you thought you’d be informing me of something I had no clue of, but earnestly this whole “Women own witchcraft” is the very most idiotic, Euro centric argument I have ever heard in Witch Discourse.
You need to get off your racist, sexist high horse right this instant.
I’ve done research and experienced witchcraft in my own culture and have knowledge of the witch hunts of the 1600s. It’s not a case of “The evil males murdering women!!!” It was a case of both women and men who used their religion to murder people horrifically and senselessly out of ignorance and fear. Both genders were the perpetrators and victims, both genders were the victims. Some women are more in tune to their spirituality and open to witchcraft due to the way western culture has brought women and men act. In other cultures, men are more likely to be spiritual leaders, or it may be perfectly egalitarian.
Saying that women own witchcraft because men in their culture fucked shit up for witches is essentially saying that atheists and pagans alone own witchcraft because Christians fucked shit up for witches.
Saying that women own witchcraft is like saying that poc own witchcraft because of imperialism’s damage to poc’s culture.
Saying that women own witchcraft is like saying that only people born to witch families own witchcraft.
Inherently, all people, males included, have the same amount of spiritual potential and energy. The way some people’s witchcraft works is recognizing that we are all witches, we are all beings with energies and spirituality and we choose to develop and partake in our own. Blocking off half the population for crimes they did not commit is disgusting.
Not to mention how GODDAMN RACIST THIS IS!
I come from Miami, and in Miami I’ve experienced a lot of the Santeria culture. Here, people mostly talk about it when there’s dead chickens washing up on shores after sacrifices or when dead animals are dropped off in bags at the courthouse, and I’m going to assume that you think witchcraft is revamped spells from the 1600s where animal bones are cutely replaced with some other herb followed by crystals sitting on the shelf.
However..
Santería is a culture of witches. Santería is very valid witchcraft, it is sometimes bloody and not cute and not adapted to Western Culture but that is the goddamn point. There are males that practice witchcraft in this culture, in fact leaders of all genders.
Native Indigenous culture have had Shamanism and related spiritualistic religions, there are so many tribes where witchcraft comes in the forms of women, men and non binary people such as the complex Two Spirit identity doing rituals, sacrifices, meditations… witchcraft is the practice of magick, and guess who practices magick?
These babies! See the things in grey! Those are called non western civilizations! Theses are places where thousands of individual communities exist, all with their own religions and native cultures! And most of them have all practiced some form of magick! Both men and women and non binary people!
If you’re a crystal witch, male or female or nonbinary Shamans probably made or sold you your crystals. Your lore could be from a Jewish Rabbi, of Jewish Mysticism. Or the Muslim intertwining of pagan and occultism. Or it could be the literal God Of Witchcraft, Thoth, in Egyptian culture. It could be an Alchemist, such as Gilles de Rais or Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa, all males murdered for their practicing witchcraft. The masks and skulls bought may very well be from Ghana tribes that were used as Talismans, or certain artifacts and rituals may come from Benin, West African tribes and communities.
You do not, never have, never will own witchcraft. No one ever will. And if you think men should be excluded, then only female, magick inherited African tribes victim to imperialism should own witchcraft.
Thank you for reading, and fuck Euro Centric supremacy.
By the gods, this the best take down of the “males can’t be witches” argument I’ve ever seen.
Fuck you, and the racist horse you rode in on, anon.
