captaingoddamnlevireconcorps:

twitterlols:

if i fits i sits

This cat is me

lunishel:

lesbianlegbreaker:

nonelvis:

frostbackcat:

tofixtheshadows:

bogleech:

themotherfuckingclickerkid:

This is the funniest thing I have ever read

“people should be ashamed by what makes them happy instead of entirely different things making them happy”

The act of legitimately loving the companion animal you willingly adopt into your household being referred to as “sick and disturbing” is wild enough, but the idea that my dog, who cries with joy whenever I come home, likes to be tucked into bed with a mountain of stuffed animals and considers everyone she meets a potential friend, would rather “chase down something in the woods and rip its still-beating heart out” because reading Jack London in 8th grade convinced this idiot that thousands of years of domestication is actually fake is absolutely the funniest thing I’ve read all year.  

I don’t know what makes a cat worse than a child, at least a cat can be unsupervised when it’s four years old, and it won’t get fuckin cheerios everywhere or smear peanutbutter on my walls, and I don’t have to send it to college.

“How badly must they want real grandchildren, instead of pet-sitting an attention-smothered dog?”

How are someone else’s unrealistic expectations my problem? And I wouldn’t ask my folks to pet-sit the cats in the first place.

“How much grief must they feel watching their child waste her parental instincts on an animal while they’re forced to play along in the couple’s sick and disturbing charade?”

Please explain to me why I should give a shit about someone else projecting their desires onto my body.

Friendly reminder: by “please explain,” I mean “kindly fuck off.”

“We have instincts to raise children.”

lolnope

#umm maybe like 90 percent of the domesticated dogs I meet are entirely devoid of wolf instincts#like dude#my parents’ dog just stands and watches cars come at her#like a deer#it would take her approximately 12 hours to die in the wilderness

Does this dude have any clue how much more money and energy it takes it takes to raise a human child?