prince-dark-and-stormy-night:

Sanders Sides as Conversations My Friends and I Have Had

—–

Logan: You know too much caffeine is bad for you…right?

Virgil: *mixing coffee* And?

Logan: And…this is the third cup of the down?

Virgil: *downs entire thing of coffee* (or tries to) Fuck health.

– – – – –

Patton: If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!

*no one claps*

Patton: Oh…I knew I wasn’t going to clap but…oh guys!

– – – – –

Roman: I would love to be a dancer or a singer or a playwrite. But alas I cannot dance or sing or write.

Talyn: Who the fuck uses alas anymore?

– – – – –

Joan: You have a cute butt.

Thomas: Your butt is cuter.

Joan: Excuse you – I mean thank you but don’t deny your butts cuteness.

Thomas: Don’t deny your butts cuteness!

Talyn: I could be in Malibu with my cousin right now…

– – – – –

Virgil: Welcome to our school where we culture appropriate Native Americans but none of our teachers admit it’s wrong!

– – – – –

Patton: Can’t you just smile real quick?

Logan: I’ve never smiled. Happiness is all an illusion and I will never – *dog walks by* OH MY GOD THAT’S SO CUTE!

– – – – –

Roman: I enjoy writing stories because I make all my characters in the LGBT+ community and nOT WHITE!

– – – – –

Patton: I want a drink. You make me crave to be drunk. And I’m seventeen.

Thomas: Why…why are you whispering threateningly at your text book?

– – – – –

Virgil: “Celebrate good times”? The only time that’s ever good is when I’m asleep because it’s like being dead but being able to wake up for food.

Patton: O-Okay well we can skip this song if you want.

– – – – –

Logan: *at an animal abuse protest* IF ANYONE HERE HURTS AN ANIMAL I’LL FUCK YOU WITH THIS SIGN I MADE!

– – – – –

Roman: *wearing a skirt and crop top*

Virgil: Why are you wearing my clothes?

Roman: Why aren’t you wearing my clothes?

Virgil: Because your shirts make me look like a baby.

Roman: You are a baby.

Virgil: Bitch!

– – – – –

Joan: Dicks out for Harambe!

Virgil: It is 2018.

Joan: …

Virgil: Stop assuming everyone has a dick. Privates out for Harambe.

– – – – –

Patton: Hey! Wanna hear a joke?

Virgil: Me?

Patton: Wha – NO!