why doesn’t anyone talk about this

actualcactuss:

I’m no doctor so maybe this has actual basis behind it (I just looked it up but some people become lactose sensitive when they’re sick, but moving on) but why doesn’t anyone ever talk about the possibilities of this. Because, I don’t know about you, but I love the idea of 

Lactose Intolerant Roman

• Roman chugging a glass of milk, slamming it down on the table, saying “I’m ready Satan” and then dying later that night with a stomach ache

• One of the other three walking into the kitchen at midnight to Roman sadly eating ice cream, they make eye contact and Roman’s just like “I’m going to regret this in two hours”

• “Roman would be that guy who goes ‘I shouldn’t eat the cheesiest thing on the menu, I’m lactose intolerant’ and then proceeds to order the second cheesiest thing on the menu” (credit where it’s due to @haikyuupaladin go follow them they’re great)

• Roman living off of lactaids so he can eat dairy 

• “Don’t tell my mom I’m eating dairy.” 

• “You don’t have a mom.”
• “Don’t tell Patton.”

• Roman eating dairy to spite his lactose intolerance

Feel free to add more things to this I just love my stupid headcanons and lactose intolerant Roman happens to be one of them. Plus Roman doesn’t get enough love in this fandom and I’m more than willing to try and fix that.