sandersidesquotes:

Virgil: I can do this, right? I mean he’s cute, I’m cute, so there’s really no reason for me to start stuttering or straight up stop functioning when he’s talking to me

Roman: Bro, I believe in you

Virgil: [approaches Patton] Hi

Patton: [smiles brightly] Hi, can I help you

Virgil:

Virgil: [to Roman] [voice croaks] Help

manic-virgo:

let-tyrants-fear:

aconfusedbird:

ineffectualdemon:

“Babies only cry if they are hungry, need changing, or need to be picked up”

Lies

Babies (and small children) also cry for reasons such as:

1. “I am tired and that makes me angry”

2. “I scared myself with a fart”

3. “You are the wrong parent”

4. “I ran into something with my face”

5. “I’m facing the opposite direction then the one I want to”

6. “I fell asleep in one place and woke up somewhere completely different”

7. “I am a very small person in a very big world”

8. “I got scared because YOU farted”

Babies have more then 3 states of being and sometimes you just have to hold them and bounce them gently while saying solemnly “yes it is very hard to be a baby” because frankly it is

you have to remember that when you’re that tiny… pretty much any bad thing that happens to you is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened in your life. they have no perspective. everything is awful. help them

#everything is happening for the first time and they cant even google it  

My daughter cries if you hand her something she’s reaching for sometimes so yeah.

sandersidesquotes:

Waking up from Anesthesia

Logan: Did the doctor send you? [Roman giggling behind the camera] Man, you are eye candy! Are you a model? Who are you? What’s your name?

Roman: [giggling] My names Roman. I’m your husband.

Logan: [gasps] You’re MY husband?! HOLY SHIT! Oh my god! I hit the jackpot!

princeanxious:

tinysidestrashcaptain:

seas-space-and-stardust:

Forbidden: Logan using heelies because they’re faster than walking and he’s so proud of himself

Virgil: Logan, NO!

Logan: But it’s such an efficient mode of transportation–

Virgil: NO.

Cue Roman making a pair of dress shoes with hidden heelies in them, just so they can bug Virgil further

Virgil: oh nice new shoes dude

Logan: thank you *smirks and zooms away in his heelies*

Virgil, in the distance: LOGAN!

Logan: EFFICIENCY!