How Not To Read An Unknown Document Presented To You By Your Romantically-Inclined Significant Other

jughead-is-canonically-aroace:

summary: based on a true story of something my english teacher once actually, literally did to her husband, in real life.

pairing: logince

wordcount: 271

on ao3

“Logan!”

The side in question looked up from his book as Roman bounded into the room with a shout. “Yes?” He raised an eyebrow.

Roman swept over to the chair Logan was seated in, presenting, with a flourish, a sheet of paper covered in red script. “Read this!”

Logan closed his book and took the page. “How do you want me to read it? Are you asking for proofreading? Opinion?”

“Just read it!” Roman bounced beside the chair in anticipation. Logan adjusted his glasses and straightened out the paper, reading it over with an English teacher’s eye.

He angled it towards Roman, pointing. “You have a run-on sentence here; you used the wrong “your” here; comma-splice here – I would recommend a semicolon; you misspelled “intellect” here;  and this list would need to be separated by semicolons rather than commas, as one of your list items includes a comma.” He handed it back.

Roman scowled. “You didn’t read it!”

“What? I clearly did.”

“It was a love letter. I gave you a love letter. I wanted you to read it, not critique my grammar.”

Logan went pink. “Oh,” he said, rather quietly. “I was proofreading?” he offered.

“You read the entire thing! How did you notice minor grammar mistakes but not that it was a love letter!” Logan noted the smile playing at Roman’s lips with relief.

“I’m a teacher! I have to proofread a hundred essays a week! I don’t have time to absorb content! And you didn’t specify! You just said to read it!”

“The first line is My Dearest Logan!” Roman dissolved into giggles. Logan wasn’t too far behind.

echointhetincan:

Virgil: [is sick]

Patton: Damn, kiddo, that’s a high fever.

Roman: Did… did you just curse?? Virgil! You are a bad influence!!

Virgil: Maybe I’m a bad influence

Virgil [sniffs]: but I am best at influenza.

Virgil: [weak finger-guns]

Roman:

Patton: [high-pitched squeal]

Logan [whispers]: It’s spreading.

phantomfander:

The Sides as Crap I Saw at School Today

Logan: A teacher tried to dab today. He also called one of his students “broski”. I don’t think it was sarcastic.

Patton: This kid was doing a presentation that was due next period to his friends while making as many pickle puns as possible. His project had nothing to do with pickles.

Roman: A girl was using a badminton raquet like a sword. She did surprisingly well.

Virgil: A boy was on a vocabulary website in the computer lab making a list to study. The list contained words like existentialism, endorphins, serotonin, and feline.

Deceit: One girl managed to convince the entire class that she had gone to the Bahamas over break. She had really just gotten a spray tan.

anxious-logos:

Virgil: You’re the one that looks like a strawberry.

Virgil: Prince Strawberry.

Roman: Emo Grape

Both: *laughs*

(I’m guessing that would make Logan “Pollia Condensata Nerd” “Loganberry Nerd”, Patton “Blueberry Dad” And Deceit “Lemon Lies”)