Bruce: hOW LONG WAS I REALLY GONE?!
Tony: What do you mean, buddy? I already told you.
Bruce: wAS I GONE LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HAVE A CHILD?¿??
Tony: I don’t know what you’re–oH COME ON! HOW MANY OF YOU PEOPLE ARE GONNA KEEP THINKING PARKER’S MY SON?
Author: Time Lizzy Saint
Greetings! The name is Time Lizzy, or Time as my friends call me. They/Them pronouns. I love to try new things, draw, sing, dance, garden, and I do some witchcraft in my free time. I'm a Hetalia role playing partner if you guys are interested.
Celine : Don’t worry. William likes your butt and your fancy hair. I know, I read his diary.
Damien : [touches his hair in awe] He thinks it’s fancy?
At an Ego Meeting
Dark: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss on the lips. What should I do?
The Host: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he leans over in pain, kiss him
Bim: Tackle him
Google: Dump him
Dr Iplier: Kick him in the shin
Wilford: NO TO ALL OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN
Bing: I love you.
Chase: Why?
Bing: Oh…
Bing: See, you were supposed to say ‘I love you too’ and then I’d say ‘April Fools!’…
Bing: But on second thought, are you ok?
Yandere: I’m having some boy troubles.
Wilford: Just remember the quickest way to any man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth rib.
Warfstache: *smiles*
Darkiplier, blushing: *slams fist on the table* That’s fucking it! I’m killing him!
Dr. Iplier: Or you can man up and just ask him out.
Darkiplier: …
Darkiplier: K-killing is easier… yeah…
Chase: *hearing noise upstairs* What’s going on?
Bing: Ugh. It’s fine don’t worry about them.
Chase: Are you sure? It sounds like it’s serious or something.
Bing: This happens every time, I’ll just put the volume up.
_
Chase: *getting worried* Bing, they’ve been at it for 10 minutes.
Bing: *sighing and getting up* Come with me.
–
*Bing and Chase outside of Dark and Wilford’s door*
Bing: Go ahead listen in.
Chase: *hesitantly* O-okay
*Inside their room*
Dark: NO, I LOVE YOU MORE!
Wilford: BET ME BITCH!
Dark: I SAID I LOVE YOU FIRST!
Wilford: YOU BEAT ME TO IT!
Dark: THAT’S PROOF THAT I LOVE YOU MORE!
Wilford: WELL I WONDER WHO KISSED THE OTHER PERSON FIRST, OH WAIT THAT WAS ME!
*Outside the room*
Chase: *staring at Bing in wide-eyed disbelief*
Bing: Yeah… They do this every Tuesday.
Host: I think I’m dead inside.
Dark: yeah well I’m dead inside AND outside, get on my level. Bitch.
Darkiplier: how do i turn off emotions?
Bim: okay, first go to settings–
Bim: wait, i’m a dumbass, i thought you said emojis
Darkiplier: no – i’m still willing to try this, go ahead.
Darkiplier: i’m at settings, what do i do next?
Wilford: I need you to promise that you’ll hold my hand whenever I’m scared.
Dark: Yeah okay.
Wilford: *holds Dark’s hand*
Dark: What are you scared of?
Wilford: I’m scared that if I let your hand go, you’ll disappear.
Dark: … *forgets how to breathe*
Think Things 